i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
