can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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