You just made me feel so damn special
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
