I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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