My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
