he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
