You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We left the knife in your bed.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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