i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
