Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
