My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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