So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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