Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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