No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
