New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize