goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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