Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
