she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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