I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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