Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
