Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
