if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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