dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
