you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Michael Bay diarrhea
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
