i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
