i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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