Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
