Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
