One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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