I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
