why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
