I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize