Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
