I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
