just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
