I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
