I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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