Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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