First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
