OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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