Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
