Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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