Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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