I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If I die, sorry about rent.
Drunk is not a location!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
