Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
