I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
