Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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