i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
