??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
