life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize