just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
