singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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