i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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