After last night, I could never be a politician.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
