Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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