I could have mohawked her pubes.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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