Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
