i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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