Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
