I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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