we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
