Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
