Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
