My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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