just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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