I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize