..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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