I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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