I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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