Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
