Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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