Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
