God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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