sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And then my night got REAL pukey
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
