First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
