Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
