There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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