think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
