I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize