I heard we made out
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
