I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
